The reasons vary….why we hold back and don’t say the things we think or feel. And yet, at the core, the reasons are always the same. We’re afraid. We’re afraid of what someone might think of us, that we might hurt others with our words, or we might be the ones to get hurt. We’reContinue reading “One can sure hope…”
Category Archives: Separation and Divorce
A thousand funerals…
At some point during my marital separation in 2008, my (now late) husband accused me of lacking commitment. I didn’t quite see it the same way, considering I felt like I had lived in figurative and literal hell for the better part of 15 years…..but the accusation did make me question whether I could loveContinue reading “A thousand funerals…”
As many lives as you want…
This may come as a surprise to some….or not….but you can live as many lives as you want. Think I’m wrong or not following me? Chances are, you’ve already lived more than one. Did you party in your 20s and then settle down with a spouse and kids in your 30s? Or, have you triedContinue reading “As many lives as you want…”
The 5 Deadly Fears of Loss (and what we gain by letting go)…
As I contemplated divorce more than a decade ago, I encountered a number of fears and uncertainties with the idea ending a 15 year-long marriage. Although I was pretty sure it’s what I wanted, I found that fear hides in the most unexpected places and in abundance. Furthermore, it’s not something one overcomes once, butContinue reading “The 5 Deadly Fears of Loss (and what we gain by letting go)…”
Looking for extraordinary…
I never wanted to live an ordinary life. In fact, I wonder if you can even live an ordinary life at all, since the very idea of “living” seems to be at odds with the concept of ordinary. So too do I question the idea that one can “lead” an ordinary existence, since leading atContinue reading “Looking for extraordinary…”
Deserving better…
It is often said that children learn by example and, specifically, by what they observe in the actions of their parents. A son who sees his father abuse his mother has a good chance of repeating the behavior with his own spouse. A daughter who watches her mother be abused is at risk of beingContinue reading “Deserving better…”
Just a chance…
We’ve all seen it before. Someone wins big in a state lottery and all of their financial woes are seemingly gone in an instant. If they play their cards right, they should never have to struggle again. And yet, within a period of just a few years, they somehow blow all of their winnings andContinue reading “Just a chance…”
Tales of torture and haunting intangibility…
For a long time, my best friends were dead people. Mysterious and intangible dead people. And while I am unsure of the exact origin, I suspect that my fascination began around the age of four with trips to the local cemetery where my grandmother and I would eat peanut butter sandwiches among the secluded tombs,Continue reading “Tales of torture and haunting intangibility…”
My own part in things…
It was probably the third or fourth call from him in the past hour. I didn’t even bother to say hello when picking up the phone. In fact, I didn’t say anything. He did. “Miss divorced fat old white female, you brought this one on yourself with your pigheadedness. You asked for everything you’re getting.Continue reading “My own part in things…”