So out of my control…

Busch Stadium….opening day. I’m excited. I get to spend the day off work with my kids watching the Cards do what they do. And then, I could have sworn I saw you on the field playing for the other team…..and later, in line at the concession stand. But it wasn’t you. It was just someContinue reading “So out of my control…”

Maybe you…

Projects…..I’ve been happily buried in them since my hiatus from my seasonal job commenced mid-April. I did, however, take a week to vacation in Key Largo with my mother at the end of the month. A wonderful and meaningful time spent…..although, I do believe we were driving each other a bit crazy the last dayContinue reading “Maybe you…”

Quite special, indeed…

I don’t know that I was born a warrior. Maybe I was, but I was so full of fear in my early years, that I don’t know that it was immediately evident. Perhaps it was hiding…..in my endless hope and refusal to give up…..or in my willingness to befriend and go to bat for theContinue reading “Quite special, indeed…”

Getting my “act” together…

Lately, I’ve been starting to “get my act together,” for whatever that means. The day job (which is seasonal and lasts just four months) has gotten me in a nice routine, as has my attempt to fully appreciate every moment I have when not in the office. I shower before bed, get to sleep atContinue reading “Getting my “act” together…”

Only love has value here…

For months now, I’ve been sitting on some thoughts about which path to take moving forward. I haven’t been stagnant, exactly. I’ve just been taking in “data” as needed in the understanding that it will eventually lead me to some sort of conclusion about the matter. Such is my way. I’m an observer, first…..of externalContinue reading “Only love has value here…”

Not the writer here…

After a few months hiatus, I feel like sharing some of what I’ve been going through in my little world. For starters, I visited a friend in North Carolina the month of November, which did not end well…..and finally led to me completely cutting ties with her after returning to Illinois. I believe the badContinue reading “Not the writer here…”

You may think…

You may think I’m the same as all of the others….. But I’m not…..because you’re not, and I recognized you in a moment. And although I was initially reluctant, I gave in. I surrendered. The first night. The second and third. After months of not knowing what was to come…..when the realization first struck. IContinue reading “You may think…”

A thousand funerals…

At some point during my marital separation in 2008, my (now late) husband accused me of lacking commitment. I didn’t quite see it the same way, considering I felt like I had lived in figurative and literal hell for the better part of 15 years…..but the accusation did make me question whether I could loveContinue reading “A thousand funerals…”

These are the things…

When it comes to a woman who’s given up almost all material luxuries in her own life, you don’t win her over with a shiny new Land Rover, 48-foot sailboat, flights to exotic locations, jewelry, and the like. You win her over with a photo of a small happy house plant soaking up the sunContinue reading “These are the things…”

Messages from the Universe

Heart broken and needing to shut myself off from the world, I walked around Gray’s Lake in Des Moines just before Labor Day 2021. As I passed baby catamarans docked on the shoreline, a man passed me and smiled. “Your hair is beautiful,” he said as he walked by. How strange, I thought. And yet,Continue reading “Messages from the Universe”